Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Suhag Raat (Honeymoon) Tips

So I am still getting constant hits from people looking for Suhag Raat tips and pictures. Now I am NOT going to post a bunch of pictures of guys and girls going at it for their first time but I have gotten some emails from naïve Indian brothers and sisters looking for some pointers. I am not married but I have had some (although very little) experience with chicks, so I am going to do my best to play this out for you based on my opinions.



But first you really need to understand what the Suhag Raat is. Like most people in the world, Indians also pick up ideas and concepts from movies they watch. I remember watching Hindi films while growing up and every time there was a marriage there was such importance paid to the Suhag Raat. Of course in these traditional films both the guy and girl were depicted as virgins, the girl even more so being projected as very scared and innocent. Most of the marriages were arranged, and many still are. So the concept of the first time Suhag Raat is still quite real.


The classic Suhag Raat scene is usually a girl sitting in her wedding Sari on the middle of a large bed covered with flowers and surrounded by a curtain of garlands. Before the man enters the room in his clean white Kurta, his mother hands him a glass of warm milk which will supposedly enhance his potency. He enters the room with a sweet look on his face and crawls into the bed with his bride, slowly lifting the viel that covers her face. Add in the music. She looks down at the mattress coyly, and then looks into his loving eyes very slowly. The scene usually ends there or with some clips of their hands and feet firmly stroking one another.


So if some youngsters out there are expecting this on their Suhaag Raat, then I feel it is my duty to lay out the facts as I see them. This is my advise, feel free to add anything on that you feel I might have missed.


1. Trim the Bushes!!! Hygiene is everything. You need to take care of your love shack before you go in for the first night. This goes for guys and girls. It does not matter if it is the first time for both of you but a well trimmed cabbage patch will get some of the freak factor out of the way. Do not be shy about it either. This is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

2. Preparation is everything. Apart from grooming you also need to make sure you smell fresh. Do not expect to come in and see your wife draped in the Sari she has been wearing all day. After the long day of a wedding and reception you are bound to be sweaty and a little stinky. Give each other the time and privacy to get all cleaned up before you try to get romantic. It might be a bit too early for a new couple to just jump into the shower together and wash each other off. Save something for later. Rather, spend time helping her off with all the crazy jewelry she has been wearing, maybe even help take the thick cake of make up off. Afterwards you can kick back in whatever clothes you find comfortable.

3. Set the scene. It is not too cheesy for you to bring in some scented candles, massage oils, and a bottle of wine or champagne into the mix. Bringing in a case of your latest sex toys is NOT cool. There is a lot more time in life to explore those avenues. Keep the first night simple even if both of you cant wait to try all the freaky shit you have read about on the net. A message is a great way to unwind. You could take turns doing each other.

4. Guys, do not expect your new wife to be all timid and shy. This is a new era I tell you. We are all exposed to alternative life styles and she might be the one lifting your Kurta before you can get to her veil. But slow it down. The first night is more important to get to know each other than playing hide the stick. It is better to talk about sex for a while before getting into it, especially if it is your first time. Make use of the wine and candles.

5. You do not HAVE to have sex on your Suhag Raat. You can just as easily make love without penetration. This is like an extended level of foreplay that you can carry on through the entire honeymoon, until that perfect moment when it feels right. The first time for women can be very painful so you must wait till you are both comfortable. A bad experience the first time can leave lasting effects so rushing into it could cause some long term losses if you know what I mean. For both of you.

6. Just because you are engaging your spouse does not mean you should not use contraception. I would think the last thing one would want is to get pregnant right after you are married. It is so much better to enjoy your first few years together without the hassles and responsibilities of child bearing. Roll down the rubber at least until you can sort out some alternate contraception. Not only will a condom an unwanted pregnancy but it also has lubrication which will enable easier first time penetration.

7. There will probably be enormous pressure built up for both of you before the Suhaag Raat. Not just sexual pressure but psychological. I do not know how this affects the chicks, but for guys this can be very bad. You do not want to pull out a limp biscuit on your fist time with the woman you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. You got to keep cool. This is where taking it slow will also be in your favor. If there is a failure to launch, do not freak out and pop a dozen Viagra. It’s normal. And she should understand that too. Once you decide that you are NOT going to have sex, that will take the pressure off and you can enjoy each other.

8. Lastly, this is your spouse. If you do just dive in to the sex, do not roll over and fall asleep after. Chances are that she will be left in the dark, staring at the ceiling, hearing your tired drunken ass snoring. You do not want the woman you love thinking about how the fuck she ended up with you on her Suhaag Raat!


If all the above is of no help to you, pray for rain and take your wife outside to dance and sing in the garden. In every movie I have seen, the rain dance always ends up in a wikid hook up.

16 comments:

IndCoup said...

Avi, the sexologist eh?!!

Jax said...

Hey Avi, that was very honest, in a slightly academic sort of way. But the honesty helped to take care of it sounding too technical or anything. And good job of taking into account the modern woman because as Bob Dylan sang, "For the times, they are a changing."

And don't be modest man...some experience with chicks?

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new Suhag-Raat-ologist in the house! Good for the first night only?

Avi said...

what can i say, i was bored. and jax, first night advice free. for firther tips payment will be required ;-)

Jax said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Good one man!

Anonymous said...

what to do with the fun
in first night everyone is ready for tha play
so no games only strokes that's up no psyhology

rizwan said...

teri bahan ko aise hi chodunga jaisa tuney is blog mein lika hai. bahanchod.......

Anonymous said...

it was funny and cool

Anonymous said...

Madarchod rizwan...teri behen ke gand main...modarochod muslim pathan...saley ma aur behen gand padh gunga chod ke behenchod...

Usama Fayyaz said...

I'm Muslim Too And We R Not Allowed In Islam To Abuse Any One...So U Shouldn't Abuse Any One Rizwan And U Too (Man Below Rizwan)....And Most Importantly Don't Take It To Islam At All As U Said His As Muslim Pathan Because We R Orderd To kIll That Person Who's Abusing Or Cursing To Islam......Remeber It As This Isn't The Joke At All....

Anonymous said...

Os raat biwi ki back side,mean hips par hath to maar sakty hain na ya nhe?

Anonymous said...

Aur plz ye bih bta dain k biwi ko olta lita k back side yani( toi) k oper oper to apna Auzu-khas masal sakty hain ya ic ki bih mumaniat hai?

PhoneSex said...

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Anonymous said...

thats was some cool tips, thanks dude......and dont mind the morons or narrow minded people .,,,,XD

Anonymous said...

hey avi..thanks for the tips..it really helped
i m a girl. i had an arranged marriage.i mailed d link of ur blog to my hubby before our marriage..it really worked n helped in calming both of us.we had a great tym togethr.
spcl thnx 2 u :)

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